Best Garbage Disposal 2011 Faq
Paul asks…
How’s this Holiday Letter Spoof?
The Jansen’s Holiday Newsletter
Its been another wonderful year!
Frank was laid off in February and has been trying to find work since. He wakes around noon and watches the midday news, checks his email then takes a nap. Something should come through soon, he really has been trying hard. We were able to find enough money to buy a new garbage disposal, wow its a new WasteKing 3/4hp!!! Though Frank seems a little depressed ever since, he had been using an electric egg beater and meat tenderizer to grind up food and force it down the sink with a toilet plunger. The VOlvo broke, the engine ceased up, fortunately we were able to trade it in even money on an ’87 Toyota Corolla. Only a few rust spots, the holes we figure we can cover up with cardboard. The drivers seat is broken but we have that propped up with a 2×4. There’s no a/c, radio, headlights or rear window but it gets us from point A to point B. We have a big tarp when it rains and just stick to daytime driving.
Our son Joe is doing well. He just finished another 4 week rehab session. He has been able to find work in between at the local gas station, they’ve been very good to him and he’s able to make some child support payments. He goes to court again this week and hoping they won’t send him to jail again. We are all pulling for him and wish him all the best.
We got into another fight with the neighbors over Joe’s old tractor which has been parked on the side of the house for several years, he hasn’t had the time to get it running, he’s just not home that often. We think it looks fine and have planted petunias around it. The Campbell’s are just being unreasonable and leave nasty notes on our door and threaten us. We’ve found new dents in the tractor and suspect Bill Campbell has been doing this. Frank hooked up a security surveillance system to catch him in the act. With limited money we couldn’t afford a video camera so Frank sits in the attic with a disposable camera, the best available. No luck yet.
We took a great vacation in July! Frank’s Uncle Fred had a friend of a friend with a large tract of land over in Pierce County, Oklahoma. We spent the week in a tent on 1000 acres of pristine meadow! Frank enjoyed his afternoons mock fishing, he has an amazing cast! I spent my days organizing the trash and counting Frank’s mosquito bites. As amazing as it was, I would recommend better insect repellent next time. We plan to return next year, you just can beat the location and price!
Our daughter Penny finalized her 4th divorce, this has been the best thing for her! She’s pregnant again but way better off without that no-good stockbroker she married. The kids Mark, Susie, Kellie, Pete, Lori, Jason, Paul, Stevie, Peggy, Emily and Marty are doing good and help her out. She did find a studio apartment for a great price. She’s very excited that the new baby #12 will boost her into the next food stamp category. She’s hoping to find work again in the evening entertainment industry soon.
We would like to wish all our family and friends a wonderful holiday season and great 2011!!!
Frank and Betty Jansen
Thanks youinne, “ceased” did not look right but typed it too fast. Thanks for the catch, file has been modified.
Garbage Disposal Staff Says:
Great, except, it’s ‘the engine seized up’ not ceased up.
Sandra asks…
How’s this Spoof Holiday Newsletter?
The Jansen’s Holiday Newsletter
Its been another wonderful year!
Frank was laid off in February and has been trying to find work since. He wakes around noon and watches the midday news, checks his email then takes a nap. Something should come through soon, he really has been trying hard. We were able to find enough money to buy a new garbage disposal, wow its a new WasteKing 3/4hp!!! Though Frank seems a little depressed ever since, he had been using an electric egg beater and meat tenderizer to grind up food and force it down the sink with a toilet plunger. The VOlvo broke, the engine ceased up, fortunately we were able to trade it in even money on an ’87 Toyota Corolla. Only a few rust spots, the holes we figure we can cover up with cardboard. The drivers seat is broken but we have that propped up with a 2×4. There’s no a/c, radio, headlights or rear window but it gets us from point A to point B. We have a big tarp when it rains and just stick to daytime driving.
Our son Joe is doing well. He just finished another 4 week rehab session. He has been able to find work in between at the local gas station, they’ve been very good to him and he’s able to make some child support payments. He goes to court again this week and hoping they won’t send him to jail again. We are all pulling for him and wish him all the best.
We got into another fight with the neighbors over Joe’s old tractor which has been parked on the side of the house for several years, he hasn’t had the time to get it running, he’s just not home that often. We think it looks fine and have planted petunias around it. The Campbell’s are just being unreasonable and leave nasty notes on our door and threaten us. We’ve found new dents in the tractor and suspect Bill Campbell has been doing this. Frank hooked up a security surveillance system to catch him in the act. With limited money we couldn’t afford a video camera so Frank sits in the attic with a disposable camera, the best available. No luck yet.
We took a great vacation in July! Frank’s Uncle Fred had a friend of a friend with a large tract of land over in Pierce County, Oklahoma. We spent the week in a tent on 1000 acres of pristine meadow! Frank enjoyed his afternoons mock fishing, he has an amazing cast! I spent my days organizing the trash and counting Frank’s mosquito bites. As amazing as it was, I would recommend better insect repellent next time. We plan to return next year, you just can beat the location and price!
Our daughter Penny finalized her 4th divorce, this has been the best thing for her! She’s pregnant again but way better off without that no-good stockbroker she married. The kids Mark, Susie, Kellie, Pete, Lori, Jason, Paul, Stevie, Peggy, Emily and Marty are doing good and help her out. She did find a studio apartment for a great price. She’s very excited that the new baby #12 will boost her into the next food stamp category. She’s hoping to find work again in the evening entertainment industry soon.
We would like to wish all our family and friends a wonderful holiday season and great 2011!!!
Frank and Betty Jansen
Garbage Disposal Staff Says:
Perfect, did you write that out all by yourself?
If you did congrats.
William asks…
Holiday Spoof Letter Opinions?
The Jansen’s Holiday Newsletter
Its been another wonderful year!
Frank was laid off in February and has been trying to find work since. He wakes around noon and watches the midday news, checks his email then takes a nap. Something should come through soon, he really has been trying hard. We were able to find enough money to buy a new garbage disposal, wow its a new WasteKing 3/4hp!!! Though Frank seems a little depressed ever since, he had been using an electric egg beater and meat tenderizer to grind up food and force it down the sink with a toilet plunger. The VOlvo broke, the engine ceased up, fortunately we were able to trade it in even money on an ’87 Toyota Corolla. Only a few rust spots, the holes we figure we can cover up with cardboard. The drivers seat is broken but we have that propped up with a 2×4. There’s no a/c, radio, headlights or rear window but it gets us from point A to point B. We have a big tarp when it rains and just stick to daytime driving.
Our son Joe is doing well. He just finished another 4 week rehab session. He has been able to find work in between at the local gas station, they’ve been very good to him and he’s able to make some child support payments. He goes to court again this week and hoping they won’t send him to jail again. We are all pulling for him and wish him all the best.
We got into another fight with the neighbors over Joe’s old tractor which has been parked on the side of the house for several years, he hasn’t had the time to get it running, he’s just not home that often. We think it looks fine and have planted petunias around it. The Campbell’s are just being unreasonable and leave nasty notes on our door and threaten us. We’ve found new dents in the tractor and suspect Bill Campbell has been doing this. Frank hooked up a security surveillance system to catch him in the act. With limited money we couldn’t afford a video camera so Frank sits in the attic with a disposable camera, the best available. No luck yet.
We took a great vacation in July! Frank’s Uncle Fred had a friend of a friend with a large tract of land over in Pierce County, Oklahoma. We spent the week in a tent on 1000 acres of pristine meadow! Frank enjoyed his afternoons mock fishing, he has an amazing cast! I spent my days organizing the trash and counting Frank’s mosquito bites. As amazing as it was, I would recommend better insect repellent next time. We plan to return next year, you just can beat the location and price!
Our daughter Penny finalized her 4th divorce, this has been the best thing for her! She’s pregnant again but way better off without that no-good stockbroker she married. The kids Mark, Susie, Kellie, Pete, Lori, Jason, Paul, Stevie, Peggy, Emily and Marty are doing good and help her out. She did find a studio apartment for a great price. She’s very excited that the new baby #12 will boost her into the next food stamp category. She’s hoping to find work again in the evening entertainment industry soon.
We would like to wish all our family and friends a wonderful holiday season and great 2011!!!
Frank and Betty Jansen
Garbage Disposal Staff Says:
Personally, I think holiday letters are almost as annoying as Twilight fans and the Jonas Brothers.
Just put down the pen and walk away. Send a card and say “Happy Holidays!”
The world will be a better place for it.
Courtesy of Y!Answers